


Good company

by 3cheers4sweet_romance



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Comforting Brendon, From annoyance to love, M/M, Nightmares, Roommates to lovers, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3cheers4sweet_romance/pseuds/3cheers4sweet_romance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon's been having nightmares and Spencer knows of a remedy for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part one

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Panic! At The Disco fic, I hope you guys like it :)

Spencer's new roommate is annoying, really fucking annoying. Spencer should have known that he would be that way from the very beginning.

He saw all the signs that morning when they met for the first time at the coffee shop down the street and talked about what Spencer was looking for in a roomie. He noticed every little hint back then in the way that Brendon was all over the place, talking non stop, laughing loudly at his own jokes and making all this wild hand gestures as he spoke, but Spencer decided to ignore all that in favor of giving Ryan's new friend a chance.

"He has no where else to go, Spence," Ryan had said in a tone that effectively conveyed more than his scarce words would've done. Ryan hadn't given Spencer much information about this guy, only that he met him a few months ago in some music festival, that he had a dead-end job in the beverage preparation industry and that he had been bouncing from place to place after his last boyfriend dumped him and kicked him out of the apartment that they both shared.

Spencer knows how it feels to be broke and with no place to live, as well... Not exactly. When he told his parents that he was moving out of the house after he decided to drop collage, they helped him pay the deposit for his apartment, besides, he had some money saved from his previous jobs, so he never had to be in that particular situation.

Even though, he couldn't help but being empathetic, so instead of saying "Sorry, but I don't think that this is going to work," as the reasonable part of his brain was telling him to do, he looked into Brendon's eyes, nodded and smiled at him while they were shaking hands and closing the deal, so any further grievances are pretty much Spencer's fault.

And, okay, Brendon has all these qualities that most people, including Spencer himself, consider good; the thing is that sometimes they are too much. Brendon is just too much sometimes and that can get really annoying after a while.

Like that way that Brendon can't stop smiling as he talks; it's like if he was really happy all the fucking time. Spencer doesn't have anything against happiness, really, he likes happy people, but he can't believe that a person can be that happy all the time either, so he suspects that Brendon might be faking it, plus having a giggling, hyperactive Brendon constantly interrupting, asking to go outside and do something fun while Spencer is sitting in front of his computer, trying to get his work done is, really fucking annoying.

And that's another thing, Brendon has lots of energy that doesn't dissipate quickly. He can spend an entire day playing the drums. Spencer loves playing the drums too, of course he does; playing is one of his favorite activities, but doing it for six or seven straight hours in some sort of musical outburst, it's just outrageous.

And Spencer wishes that it was only the drums, but it is also the guitar, the bass, the piano and, for a few infamous weeks, the trumpet, because the guy can play anything, apparently. Well, not anything, there has to be a bunch of exotic instruments that he can't play like... the koto, yeah, the koto which is kind of harp that forms part of the family of the Japanese traditional instruments.

Brendon doesn't know a thing about Japanese music, so Spencer is pretty sure that he can't play the koto, but he's also sure that it would be just a matter of leaving Brendon alone in a room with one of those, and he would figure out how to play it within a surprisingly brief period of time.

So he's stupidly happy and energetic, talented and... hot, no! Scratch that.

Spencer is not going to go there; he's not going to think about how hot Brendon is with those arms, and those lips and those big, brown eyes... No, no, his hotness is just another thing to add to the list of reasons why Brendon Urie is so annoying because he doesn't even seem to acknowledge how hot he is, not at least when he's parading shirtless around the house or when he stands, really, really close behind Spencer in the tiny kitchen, and then leans in to reach the boxes of cereal from the top shelf, practically pinning Spencer against the counter while the latter is fixing his coffee.

So, no, Spencer is not focusing on how hot Brendon is and how that's more than a little distracting sometimes; instead he's going to think about how dorky he looks with those big, red glasses and that stupid beanie that he wears sometimes and how gross it is to find Brendon's stubble all over the sink in the mornings because he always forgets to rinse it after he shaves.

So Spencer's roommate is extremely annoying on the daily basis, but when he's the most annoying, by far, is at night like right now, when Spencer is trying to sleep for at least seven hours so he won't be in a zombie-like state during his classes or later, during his shift at the store, but he can't because Brendon is making this weird noise.

At least he could have the decency of keeping it quiet while he's masturbating. Spencer always makes sure to be it quiet while he's polishing the family jewels and, okay, maybe he let out a couple moans that were louder than he intended the other day, but he almost always jerks off in the shower and the sound of the pouring water helps to muffle any sound of sexual nature that involuntarily comes out of his mouth.

Although Spencer is not even sure that the strange noises that are coming from Brendon's room are the result of a very good jerk off session because he has been hearing them for more than half an hour and there's no way that one can last that long unless you have a very specific training in tantric sex or some shit like that, plus, it's four in the morning; who wakes up at four am just to rub a really loud one out while there are normal people around trying to sleep?!

"Ahn!" Spencer hears another of the especially loud moans coming from the next room and that's it! He angrily throws away the pillow that he has over his head, covering his ear and storms out of the room. Spencer is not going to take this shit anymore, he is going to give Brendon a piece of his mind right now and he...

"Umh..." Another moan, only that this one doesn't sound like an actual moan, at least not a sexy one, but more like a whimper, like a really sad, full-with-sorrow kind of whimper.

Spencer frowns and hesitates a little before knocking at the door because this is getting weirder by the minute, but he also wants Brendon to shut the fuck up already and be able to sleep in peace, so he knocks angrily. Brendon doesn't answer.

"Right, he must be really caught up in what he's doing... The pervert," Spencer says grumpily to himself, but then he jumps a little when he hears yet another noise that very clearly sounds like a cry, a cry of... Pain? He frowns again.

This just got really creepy, but the truth is that Spencer doesn't even care what he's going to find or see once that he opens the door. He can do some research about selectively deleting unwanted memories after he has kicked Brendon out of the apartment, so he pushes the door open, turns the lights on and sees that his extremely annoying roommate is actually sleeping.

He's wrapped in a blanket, lying on his side, writhing and whimpering quietly. "A nightmare," Spencer thinks immediately.

"Brendon," he says warily, walking closer to the bed. "Brendon," he repeats, but the other man doesn't react. "Brendon," Spencer tries again and this time he puts one hand on Brendon's shoulder, shaking it a little. "Bre..."

Brendon wakes up suddenly, propping his elbows on the mattress and gasping desperately as if he's just come up from underwater. Spencer watches him with a worried expression. "Are you okay, man?" He asks, moving his hand from Brendon's shoulder to place it the other man's back. Brendon is still gasping, his gaze unfocused and he's shivering a little. After a moment, he blinks and looks up; that's, apparently, the moment when he recovers full consciousness.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," he says a little out of breath and starts running his fingers through his hair and pulling back the loose strands that are falling over his forehead. "Are you sure?" Spencer asks. Brendon certainly doesn't look like he's doing fine. Spencer doesn't' know what to do about that and it all is making him feel strangely helpless.

"Yeah, it was just..." Brendon swallows with difficulty, "A bad dream". Spencer's frown deepens. "Okay, um..." He turns around and spots an empty glass on the bedside table. He reaches for it. "I'll be right back," he says and walks out of the room, leaving Brendon alone in his bed.

A minute later, Spencer comes back and hands Brendon the glass full with water. Brendon takes it with a slightly shaky hand and drinks its content in two long gulps. 'He must have been really thirsty,' Spencer thinks as he takes the glass from Brendon's hand and puts it back on the little table.

He can't stop staring at his roommate and it's just that Brendon looks so different now from how he usually does. This scared, rattled version of himself is the complete opposite from his usual smiley, over-enthusiastic self and even when it annoys Spencer the crap out of him sometimes, watching Brendon like this right now is very unsettling.

"I'm okay, man," Brendon says after a moment with what is supposed to pass as a grin, "Go back to sleep". "But..." Spencer is not convinced, not even a bit, but what he can do? He cannot comfort Brendon with a hug and a lullaby as moms do. What do you do when the man you share an apartment with has a nightmare? Spencer has no idea.

"Seriously, Spence, your economy class is at what? Nine?" "Eight," Spencer corrects him. "And you have to go to Ryan's place before to collect your books, right?" Spencer nods. "See, you have to be up very early, so go back to bed and enjoy a couple more hours of sleep". Spencer huffs. He wants to object, but what's the point?

He stares at Brendon a little longer and lets out a little sigh before heading to the door. "Do you want me to turn off the lights?" He asks once that he's standing by the doorway. "Yes, please," Brendon replies, he's already lying down on the bed and tugging the covers up. Spencer glances at him one last time before walking out and closing the door.

He doesn't see Brendon again until that evening when he comes home bearing pizza for dinner and Brendon greets him with one of his usual, wide smiles.

"Spencer Smith, you really do know how to treat a guy," he comments playfully, before stuffing his mouth with mozzarella and pesto sauce.

Spencer watches him from behind the rim of his can of soda, trying to see if there's something different about him, but no, he can't see anything out of the ordinary. It's just the same cheerful, over-enthusiastic guy that has been living with him for the last couple of months.

All the dread and confusion that Spencer saw on his face the night before, has disappeared, leaving no trace at all, so the nightmare he had was probably a one time thing.

The following week, Spencer confirms that Brendon having nightmares is not a one time thing, but that it is actually something frequent. He has had to walk into Brendon's room in the wee hours of the morning, three more times to wake him up from a nightmare.

Brendon's reaction is always the same; he wakes up tense and disconcerted, thirsty as hell and after drinking a whole glass of water, he makes his best effort to convince Spencer that it's nothing, that he's absolutely fine and that they both should go back to sleep and pretend that nothing happened.

Spencer reluctantly does as Brendon tells him, but he's getting tired of this. He is a light sleeper and it takes him a while to fall back asleep once that he's woken up abruptly, plus he's starting to feel worried. It is not normal to be having nightmares that often and that is that bad; there has to be something really wrong going on in Brendon's head and Spencer can't do anything to help him with that, so this whole thing sucks. Plus, Spencer has a big exam tomorrow and he really needs to get good grades this semester so he finally can get his grade.

Two years ago, Spencer dropped out of collage. He didn't have any specific reasons he just felt overwhelmed by it all; he got behind in some classes and he needed time to figure things out and decide what he wanted to do with his life and he just...

His parents didn't scold him or anything, they just said that he was an adult now and that he could make his own decisions, but Spencer knows better that that. He saw how they looked at him and what are their opinions about dropping out school and getting an education, but Spencer just couldn't stay there any longer, he needed some time off.

He's doing better now and he's back, and even when two years don't seem to be that long, being away from the academics has really fucked him over. He's lost his momentum or whatever and it is hard for him to follow the pace, even harder that before, but this time he's determined to finish college, so he has to pass tomorrow's exam.

He's been studying Friedman's theory of monetarism for the last three hours and he's really tired right now. His eyes feel heavy and close at their own volition as he puts his books back into his bag pack, then he walks towards the bathroom, letting out a long, loud yawn.

Spencer examines his reflection in the mirror as brushes his teeth. The circles under his eyes are getting darker and he knows that needs to have a full night's sleep to recover his energy, but it doesn't seem likely considering the whole nightly situation with his roommate. He really doesn't want to be woken up by Brendon again, so he's decided to take matters into his own hands.

A few minutes later, Spencer walks into Brendon's room carrying a pillow and a blanket. He drops both items on the bed, next to where Brendon is currently lying.

"Spencer, what are you doing?" Brendon asks, propping himself up on his elbows. "I'm staying here for the night". "What?" Brendon blinks in confusion and sits up straight, but Spencer isn't paying much attention to the other man's disconcerted expression because now he's pulling the comforter further down and moving Brendon's pillow to the side so he can put his own pillow in the space that he just created.

"I said that I'm staying here for the night," Spencer repeats in an even tone. "I already heard that, but why you're staying here?" "Because good company is the remedy for bad dreams," Spencer mutters. "What?"

Spencer sighs wearily and sits on the edge of the bed. "When I was little and I had a nightmare, my dad used to tell me that good company is the remedy for bad dreams, then he sat on the bed next to me and stayed there until I fell asleep".

Brendon frowns, "Did that work?" "Every time," Spencer nods confidently. Brendon is quiet for a moment, he seems to be considering what Spencer is suggesting. "So you're going back to your room when I fall asleep?" "No," Spencer shakes his head slowly in a gesture that conveys his determination, "I'm staying the whole night, so move over," he pushes Brendon back a little with his body as he gets on the bed.

"Spencer, this is ridiculous, go back to your room". "No, I told you, I'm staying" Spencer says firmly. "Spencer, I'm a grown ass man, I'm completely able to sleep unsupervised, you are aware of that, right?" Brendon's tone is starting to show irritation and that makes Spencer let out his own pent up frustration.

"Brendon, just shut up already, I have a big exam tomorrow and I need to sleep, I need you to let me sleep!" Spencer raises his voice and after watching Brendon's eyes go down and his expression shifting with a flare of guilt, he realizes how dickish of him that was.

"We both need some sleep," his voice immediately goes down and he hopes that the rephrasing amends what he just said, but Brendon doesn't respond; his gaze is still averted. "C'mon," Spencer beckons, "Lay down already". He turns to his side and fluffs his pillow before laying under the covers. Brendon sighs harshly and it takes him a while, but he finally relents. He lays down next to Spencer after a moment.

"Do you still have nightmares?" Brendon asks quietly. "No, they stopped when I got older. My nightmares were not that bad, though. They were caused mostly because I used to watch movies that I wasn't supposed to be watching at that age, you know? They disappeared when horror movies stopped being scary and started to be funny". Spencer rolls over to look at Brendon. "Your case is..." he stops because he has no idea of what can be messing Brendon that much. "Well... Different, I guess".

Brendon doesn't turn to look at him, he doesn't say another word either, he just reaches for the little lamp on the bedside table and turns it off, leaving the room dark and quiet.

A few hours later, Spencer wakes up to the sound of quiet whimpers. He moves to the side, opens his eyes and blearily sees Brendon next to him, curled into a ball and clenching his pillow with one hand. Spencer reaches out to pat Brendon's shoulder lightly. "It's okay," he whispers a couple of times and starts rubbing little circles on Brendon's arm. The other man doesn't wake up, but his muscles relax under Spencer's touch and he stops whimpering after a moment.

When it seems to have passed, Spencer retreats his hand and closes his eyes again; he drifts off into sleep a few minutes later. Neither of them wake up again during the night.

 


	2. Part two

“So, what's the matter with Brendon?” Spencer asks from one side of the aisle where Rayn is working, carefully placing the children's books that just arrived to the store.

“What's the matter with Brendon?” Ryan repeats the question under his breath. He purses his lips like he's seriously thinking about it. “I don't know, you live with him,” he responds after a moment and his whole attention goes back to make fit an exceptionally large book into one of the shelves.

“Yeah, but...” Spencer takes the box of new arrivals from the little stool where Ryan had put it and leaves it on the floor. “Has he ever mentioned something to you about having nightmares?” Spencer asks as he sits down on the stool.

“Nightmares?” Ryan says and even when he talks mostly in a monotone, Spencer's ear is trained to detect any slight change in it. The almost imperceptible inflection at the end of the word tells Spencer that Ryan knows exactly what he's talking about but he's trying to hide it.

“Did you know about them?” Spencer asks, already knowing the answer. “Yeah,” Ryan nods, “He woke me up a couple of times the week that he stayed at my place”. Spencer frowns, “So why you didn't tell me”. “Well,” Ryan shrugs with one shoulder and leans down to grab a stack of books from the box. “I didn't think that it was a big deal, I mean, they are just bad dreams,” he says like it's nothing.

“It's not just that, Ryan, he's been having nightmares constantly at least since...” Spencer stops to do the math, “He lived with you when?” Ryan furrows his brow as he tries to remember, “Like three months ago”. “Three months ago?” Spencer's tone raises with surprise, “Well, that can't be normal”.

“He told me that they were not so frequent and I didn't think that they were _that_ bad”. “They're bad enough to keep waking me up almost every night,” Spencer mutters irritably, then his gaze goes down and he stares at the box of books on the floor as a thought crosses his mind.

“Do you know what can be causing them?” Ryan stops with what he's doing and lets out a sigh, “He's never mentioned anything, exactly, but I think that it might be something that happened to him while he was living in the streets”.

“He lived in the streets?!” Spencer asks, shocked. Ryan nods, “Yeah, after his parents kicked him out”. Spencer knew that Brendon's parents had kicked him out of their house at the age of seventeen because he refused to go on a mission with the church and because he came out to them, but he had no idea that after that, he actually had to live under a bridge or something like that.

“How...?” Spencer brushes a hand roughly against this face and reconsiders, “There's something we can do to help him?” “I have no idea, man,” Ryan says, helplessly. They stay quiet for a moment. Spencer, frowning deeply as he digs into his mind looking for a way to fix this, and Ryan with his usual impassive face while he straightens the books on the top shelf.

“Have you tried something?” The latter asks, not taking his attention from the line that the colorful covers of the books form as he arranges them in a straight angle, one against the other.

“I slept with him,” Spencer answers without thinking. Ryan turns to look at him with a sly grin that brightens his face. “Dude, are you trying to cure him with sex?” Spencer grimaces, “Not like that, you idiot! But actually sleeping next to him, in his bed so I can wake him up when he's having a nightmare”.

Ryan gives him a condescending look before saying, “Brendon is a grown up man, Spence, you don't have to watch his sleep, you're not his mom”. “I know that, but...” Spencer huffs, frustated. “I just want to help him in some way”. “That or...” Ryan smirks, wickedly again, “Are you using this as an excuse to grope him in his sleep?”

“Of course not! God, Ryan!” Spencer almost yells, but instead of responding to his evident indignation, Ryan just shrugs it off. “I've seen how you look at him when he's not wearing a shirt,” the latter says suggestively as he steps closer to take another stack of books. Spencer glares, but is hard for him to keep his indignant on while he's trying to fight back a blush.

“I have to get back to work,” he murmurs between gritted teeth before standing up from the stool, “And just for you to know,” he adds, pointing an accusing finger at Ryan, “You're not being helpful here, not at all”. Ryan sneakers and watches his friend going to the other side of the store.

******

That night, after having a late dinner, Spencer goes to his room and works in some essay that it's due in the next week.

He rereads his first attempt of a draft and saves the changes before turning the computer off. Then he puts his sleep clothes on and goes to the bathroom to proceed with his usual bedtime routine. Once he's back in the room, he grabs a blanket and a pillow from his bed and walks out. This time, he does knock on Brendon's door before letting himself in.

Brendon squints at Spencer as he drops both, the pillow and the blanket, onto the bed. “Are we doing this again, Spencer?” Brendon asks, wearily. “Are you having nighmares tonight?” Spencer retorts and watches Brendon's expression shifting immediately with anger.

“How am I supposed to...” Brendon squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a long gushing breath, “Probably,” he admits rather reluctantly, “But, Spencer, we can't be doing this. I'm not a child; you can't be sleeping in my bed and what? Protect me from my own dreams?” He raises his eyebrows and stares at Spencer, probably waiting for him to acknowledge the ridiculousness of this situation, but Spencer is not going to relent here.

“Brendon, I'm not trying to...” Spencer huffs, “It worked, didn't it? Last night, it worked”. “Yes, but...” Brendon stops to rub a hand on his face and sigh harshly, then he looks down and reaches for the blanket and the pillow that were thrown there a minute ago. “Spencer,” he says in earnest, “Just take your stuff and go back to your room”.

“No,” Spencer replies firmly, taking both items and throwing it back onto the bed. “I'm staying”. “God! Why you have to be so fucking stubborn?!” Brendon glares at him; his chest and his jaw sticking out defiantly, “I can take care of myself, okay?” Spencer's determination falters a little at that. “I'm just trying to help,” he says, as an attempt to justify himself.

“Why?” Brendon grits out. “What do you mean _why_?” Spencer blinks, disconcerted, “Because we live together and you're my friend”. “Yeah, right,” Brendon snorts, “You don't even like me”. “Wha...” Spencer stops himself from asking what Brendon means by that; it's obvious that he's noticed the huffing and the constant eye rolling and the little remarks that Spencer makes on Brendon's usual over-the-top behavior.

“I do like you,” Spencer says honestly, because, now that he thinks about it, it's true. “It's just that... It's just that sometimes you are really annoying”. Brendon's eyes widen almost comically at that. “I'm annoying? Pot to kettle,” Brendon mumbles and crosses his arms across his chest in an obvious gesture of indignation.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Spencer asks, outraged; he can't believe what Brendon is implying. “I'm not... I'm not annoying”. “Dude, you're so annoying; you are a neat freak, and fucking uptight and whiny, and seriously Spencer, if something about me bothers you, just say it instead of putting out your passive aggressive bullshit!”. Brendon's angry words resonate loud and clear in the little room and make Spencer realize what a shitty roommate he's been the whole time.

“Okay then, I admit it, I'm annoying”. He says after a moment, “There's something we can do to change this,” he flicks a finger back and forth between the two of them and looks at Brendon expectant. He never thought that he and Brendon would become _bffs_ after they started living together, but they can do something to get along, right?

“I guess it is,” Brendon sighs, dejected, “But for now lets just sleep”. He shifts on the bed and moves his pillow and the comforter to the side, leaving a space for Spencer to put his stuff and lay down next to him.

******

The following weeks, the two of them sleep together in the same bed. Brendon's nightmares have become less frequent and when they happen, Spencer knows exactly what to do to make them stop. He's learned to identify the telltale signs and act immediately.

The change in the pattern of Brendon's breathing, the quiet little sounds that he makes and the way that his body tenses next to him, are pretty good indicators and Spencer can almost always detect them when they start; being a light sleeper has its perks after all, he has found.

So once that he's noticed them, all he has to do is intervene in some way, like reaching a hand to pat on Brendon's shoulder and then rub it lightly, or shushing him with quiet assuring words, but what has proven to be more efficient than anything is wrapping an arm around his middle and scootting into his practically unexisting personal space, so one side of their bodies is pressed together. Brendon relaxes immediately when Spencer does that and sleeps serenely the rest of the night.

It has occurred to Spencer a couple of times, as his eyes go from barely open to completely closed and he's at the edge of dozing off again, that that thing that they are doing can be considered by many as cuddling, only that cuddling is different because when you cuddle with someone, it means something to all the parties involved.

Cuddling is an act that involves intimacy and sometimes, love, which doesn't exist between the two of them, so no, this is definitely not cuddling, it's just a way of keeping his roommate from having nightmares so they can have a full night's sleep, and given that Spencer is aware of that, he is not making a big deal out of it.

Also, their relationship has noticeably improved. Spencer has learned to accept Brendon's way of approaching, well... everything and he almost never rolls his eyes at him anymore. Meanwhile, Brendon is a little more self-restrained now, or at least he doesn't interrupt Spencer that much while he's studying, and the other day, when Spencer walked into the bathroom after Brendon had taken a shower, he found that the place was actually clean.

He didn't have to pick up wet towels from the floor or wash the sink, so when Spencer bumped into him in the kitchen, instead of making a remark on the fact that Brendon had finally remembered to clean after himself, he just said “Thanks” quietly. At first Brendon didn't seem to know what Spencer was thanking him for, if his disconcerted face was any indication but, after a moment, understanding settled in and he gave Spencer a kind of shy smile that, for some reason, was extremely endearing.

So everything has been going fine between them lately, and that makes Spencer wake up abruptly one morning. He opens his eyes and sees Brendon still sleeping in front of him. The differences in Brendon's expression depending on the hour of the day are definitely unnerving. It surprises Spencer how different Brendon looks during the day, all held together, happy and enthusiastic about life in general and how he looks at night sometimes, scared, vulnerable and broken, but right now, Brendon's face is the picture perfect of serenity.

Spencer examines his features in the dim light of the room; the line of his thick eyebrows, the curve of his nose, the shadow that his lashes cast on his cheeks. Spencer stares at Brendon's mouth a little longer than the other parts of his face and suddenly feels an unbidden impulse of closing the gap between them and see if his lips are as soft as they look, but then he gets startled by Brendon waking up.

Spencer closes his eyes immediately and pretends like he's still sleeping; his heart beating inexplicably fast in his chest. Brendon doesn't say anything to him, he just rolls over, takes the arm that Spencer still has wrapped around his waist and moves it to the side, dropping it onto the bed. A little after that then, he stands up.

Spencer doesn't know if Brendon noticed him watching him sleep, but the thought of that hovers in his head the whole day.

******

“Was it bad?” Spencer says behind the rim of his glass one night. Brendon and him are having dinner in the kitchen bar. “What?” Brendon asks after swallowing a spoon full of fried rice. “Living in the streets”. Brendon's expression turns serious immediately. He puts the little take out box on the counter and studiously avoids making eye contact with Spencer. “It wasn't exactly a blast,” he grits out.

“No, of course not,” Spencer rushes to say, worriedly, “Sorry, that was a stupid question, it's just that...” He sighs, “I know that something happened to you while you were living out there and that that's probably causing you the nightmares,” he pauses, Brendon hasn't turned to look at him yet and his body language is yelling that he doesn't feel comfortable at all with this conversation.

Spencer shifts a little in his chair before continuing. “Look, you don't have to tell what it was but I think that it would be good for you if you talk to someone, you know? Like a professional”. Brendon finally tilts his face up and Spencer's stomach swoops as he sees an unsettling combination of anger, fear and helplessness in his eyes. “I don't have money for that Spencer, and you know it,” Brendon replies severely. “Yeah, I do, but I went to the psychology department today and they have this counselling service that is free for students”.

“Spencer,” Brendon glares, “I don't know why I have to remind you this, but I'm not a student at your collage”. “I know, but I checked and they don't ask you for your student id card; you only have to give them your name and your number, so you can give them mine and pretend like you are a student,” Spencer explains and looks at Brendon with big hopeful eyes. Brendon huffs, “I don't think that's going...” “At least you could give it try,” Spencer interrupts before the other man can finish his sentence.

After a long moment, during which Brendon seems to be debating with himself whether to accept what Spencer is suggesting or not, he finally relents. “Okay,” Brendon says with a little nod and Spencer can't help but to smile at him. They finish their meal mostly in silence.

A few hours later, Spencer is in his room, sitting at his desk and reading some article that they'll be discussing in his business ethics class. After finishing the last paragraph and jotting down a little note on the margin, he presses the heel of his hands to his eyes and decides that it's time for him to call it a night, so he changes his clothes, brushes his teeth and walks out of his room.

When he opens the door, he has to wait a moment for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. He realizes that Brendon's probably already sleeping because the room is dark and quiet and there's no signs of activity, so he steps in carefully trying not to make any sound and goes to the bed.

Spencer pulls the covers down gingerly and he's about to get in when a thought crosses his mind. Maybe he shouldn't be sleeping with Brendon anymore. The frequency of the nightmares has decreased considerably since they started sharing a bed and Brendon is going to receive professional help soon, so he'll be fine without him, Spencer is sure of that.

He decides to go back to his room and spend the night there, so he leans down to grab his pillow and his blanket, but then he hears Brendon's voice chiming in, “Spence?” “I'm just grabbing my stuff,” Spencer whispers, “Go back to sleep”. Instead of doing that, Brendon props himself on one elbow and rubs his eyes. “Are you sleeping in your room tonight?” he asks groggily. “Yeah,” Spencer replies, pulling the comforter further down so he can tug the blanket and take it with him. He stops doing that when he feels a hand wrapping tightly around his wrist.

“Don't go,” Brendon says and there's more in his tone than Spencer can decipher right now. “What?” Spencer asks, his voice faltering a little. “Don't go, I like having you here”. Spencer would like to have a couple of minutes off so he could think about what Brendon is saying here, but he doesn't have any time, because before he can register what is happening, Brendon is sitting up and clenching both hands in Spencer's shirt.

He pulls him closer until Spencer finally relents and kneels down on the bed, then Brendon slides both hands around his waist, holding him tight, and his eyes must be more accustomed to the dark because he has no problem in finding Spencer's lips and kissing them gently.

Spencer lets out a little startled gasp and mumbles “Brendon, is this... ?” when they pull apart. “Yeah,” Brendon breathes, “Come here”. Despite being smaller than Spencer, Brendon is surprisingly strong. Spencer confirms that once again as Brendon shifts on the bed making Spencer roll to his side and lean back.

Brendon kisses Spencer again, with a little more intent than before, hooking one leg on Spencer's and pushing him back with the weight of his body until Spencer is practically pinned against the mattress. They make out lazily for long minutes, Brendon half on top of Spencer; Spencer threading his fingers in Brendon's hair and the latter making little content noises into Spencer's mouth.

Eventually, they make a pause to breathe, and Brendon takes the opportunity to stare at him and whisper “Thanks”. It takes him a while for Spencer to figure out what Brendon is thanking him for, but when he does, he gets a warm feeling in his chest and he can't help but to smile at him. He doesn't say anything though, he just tilts his head up and captures Brendon's mouth in another kiss.

 

They both sleep serenely that night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave a comment and let me know if you liked this :]


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